109: Personal

“For a man who spent four days in Florida, you sure don’t look like you got any sun,” Lilah drawled upon entering the studio with her husband, but inquisitive aquamarine irises went agog before she had a chance to hassle Jon any further.  “Ohhhh… my word…  It’s the Jersey Sistine Chapel.  Except with a wall instead of a ceilin’.”

Only she could have him both rolling his eyes and laughing at the same time, Jon thought while putting aside his guitar and rising from the stool he’d been perched on for the last hour.  The little Kentucky kook was quirky on any given day and on the days when she left the tollbooth between her brain and her mouth unattended, she made Dr. Seuss appear lucid.

“Jonnnn….” The utterance of his name was nothing more than a breathy sigh, and she cast him a look of wonder before reverting her gaze to the far wall.  “Pictures don’t do it justice.”

“No, they don’t.”

There wasn’t a photo in the world that could capture the grandeur of the counselor’s handiwork, he thought while settling open hands over his hips to survey it yet again.  Rich, detailed and bigger than life, art of this magnitude had to be experienced in order to truly appreciate it. 

The mural was partly why he’d chosen this as the location to meet his brothers and their wives today.  His New Jersey house was a little out of the way for all of them, but he had some things to do in the studio, and the counselor’s work deserved a wider audience.  It also provided confirmation that Jon’s feelings for the artist weren’t coloring his opinion of her ability. 

Tony followed along behind his wife for a closer look, systematically perusing the wall from left to right and giving a low whistle along the way.  “Dude.  The sketches she did for me and Matt were awesome, but this… She’s good.  Like really good.”

“Why in the world would she choose to be a lawyer and stifle this kinda God-given gift?  I just don’t understand.”

Eyes that marveled over the images near the ceiling snapped accusingly in his direction and left Jon no choice but to snort.  He’d fucked up a few things in his time, but he wasn’t taking the rap for this one.

“Don’t pin that shit on me.  I’m the one she tried to rip a new ass for suggesting she give up the lawyer gig in favor of this, but she is giving her notice at work today.”

“Good for her.” His brother wasn’t the kind to be unnecessarily generous with approval, and it was another indication to Jon that the counselor was making the right move.  Tony pushed both hands into the front pocket of his jeans as he continued along the wall, casually offering the observation, “Happiest place on earth must’ve done the trick.”

“Yes, Jon.  How was Disney, or did y’all even get outta the bedroom?”

Sliding Lilah a derisive look, he aimed the response to his brother. “The counselor decided she’d rather postpone that trip for a while.   We spent a few days at the beach house instead.”

“The beach house?”  Turning to give him a frown over her shoulder, Lilah seemed baffled when inquiring, “What caused her to change her mind?  I thought she was lookin’ forward to Cinderella’s castle and all that.”

Jon leaned back on his heels and folded his arms, pondering his course of action.  He could use vague terms to explain why, but with Lilah's inquisitive nature, he’d probably still end up having to go into the whole story, anyway. 

It was true that going into the whole story was his objective here today.  After the counselor’s offhand comment about letting him tell his family, she had later reiterated her desire for just that.   It wasn’t her desire to disrespect anyone by not relaying the information personally, but she just didn’t want to go through the whole thing for a fourth time. 

Frankly, he was still absolutely infatuated with the new and lighter version of Chiara, and he’d do a hell of a lot more than talk to his family to keep her that way.  So he would end up telling Lilah what she wanted to know, but Jon opted to deflect the question for the time being.    

“Wait until Matt and Des get here.  I’ll explain it to you all at the same time.”

“Alright,” came the delicate Southern huff as she traced a finger over Tony’s likeness on the wall.  “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she wanted to go to the Hamptons, because she sure did love that house of yours.  Might be a good place to have the weddin’.”

“We’re not getting married.”

As soon as the reflexively sputtered words tumbled from his lips, Jon regretted them.  That was primarily because they issued an engraved invitation for her to butt into his personal life, but there was also a smaller part of him that wasn’t happy about the truth behind them.

It was a subject that he and Chiara hadn’t revisited yet, because…  Well, it wasn’t time.  They weren’t at that stage of the game yet, but it still bugged him that the possibility was pre-emptively removed from the table.

The sandy eyebrows of his sister-in-law knit with confusion at the same time the studio door opened to admit Matt, whose arrival didn’t stop her from demanding, “What do you mean you’re not gettin’ married?  It’s awful early to be rulin’ somethin’ like that out, don’t ya think?”

Cupping his elbows, he rubbed restless fingertips over the protruding bones while trying to exert some damage control. “It isn’t your concern, Kentucky, so don’t start.”   

That wasn’t going to do a damn thing to stop Lilah the steamroller, and Jon wasn’t the only one who knew it. 

Matt’s rude snort echoed in the acoustically enhanced room an instant before, “Really, man?  You think that’s gonna work?”

“Y’all are gonna hurt my feelin’s one of these days with the way you pick at me, but today ain’t the day.  I wanna know why you’d say that, Jon.”

“I’m telling you, just like I got told.  Chiara does not want to remarry.”

“Can’t say I’m disappointed.”

The lone female in the room shifted condemning sights from Jon to a carelessly shrugging Matt.  “Why not?  What do you have against Charlie?”

“Listen, Lilah,” Matt commanded flatly, parking a hip on one of the stools scattered around the room.  “Just because you’re all worked up over your matchmaking intuition doesn’t mean Charlie’s the yin to his yang or whatever.  Be objective for a change and look at how this whole thing has gone down.”

Taking up a pose that matched Jon’s folded arms and wide-planted feet, Tony cocked his head with interest.  “I gotta say I’m curious.  How is it you think it’s gone down?  ‘Cause, last I remember, you were matchmaking right there with the rest of us in the Hamptons.”

“That was before I found out she was married.”

Damn, Jon thought to himself, having believed Matt to be appeased by the assurance that Chiara was getting a divorce.  Clearly, though, baby brother still had reservations and maybe…  Maybe in his shoes, Jon would be the same way.

Drawing a deep and thoughtful breath, he tried to keep that perspective while slowly nodding.   “I admit it’s damning on the surface, but I told you there was more to it than that.  Your opinion’s gonna change once you hear the backstory, which is actually why I wanted to see you guys.  Where’s Des?”

“Rocco had a field trip today that she had to chaperone.”

Not his ideal scenario, but Desiree was the least dominant personality out of this group.  She likely wouldn’t have much to say one way or the other, so he supposed Matt could pass the whole thing along. 

“Then I guess there’s no reason to wait any longer.  Let’s go sit down.”

For once, his family did as asked without argument.  While Jon leaned his backside on the edge of the soundboard, Tony and Lilah settled on the couch and Matt sprawled in the Giants stadium seats along the wall.  All three fixed expectant gazes upon him as he decided where to start.

“Chiara asked me to apologize for not telling you this personally, but I offered to do it and she’s been through enough that she accepted my offer.”

With nothing more than that intro, Jon relayed a little bit about how the counselor came to be married to Owen, the blackmail-worthy incidents from her younger years and Owen’s continued manipulation of of his family.  Because it still pissed him off, he also threw in the bit about the lowlife scumbag preying on her insecurities over Joey’s death.   

After that came the details about the weekend visit to the boys, why Chiara chose the Hamptons over Disney and the follow up visit with her family.

“And that’s why she doesn’t want to get married again, in one very large nutshell,” he concluded half an hour later, addressing his next remarks specifically to Matt.  “If it doesn’t alter your opinion, then you’re gonna have to settle for the fact I love her.”

“It has to alter his opinion,” was Lilah’s protective mama bear decree.  “That poor woman has been brave for those boys of hers for so long, and now Jon’s finally given her the courage to take her life back.  It’s nothin’ short of miraculous.”

“She didn’t rise from the dead or perform a virgin birth.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Tony ordered their younger brother shortly.  “The whole thing is a pretty big deal, and I don’t get why you’re so indifferent to it.”

“I’m not indifferent!   Nobody should have to put up with that shit, and I’m glad she’s on back side of it.  Her hard times don’t make her wife material, though.  It just seems to me that Jon’s done a lot more for her than she’s done for him.”

Placidly rubbing a hand over his jaw, Jon mentally searched his mind for words of reinforcement that wouldn’t expose things he’d rather keep private.  He was of the opinion that his family didn’t need to know everything that went on inside him, or in his private life, but sometimes…  Sometimes, there was just no way to avoid it

“What she’s done for me is a lot more personal,” he quietly confided, meeting his brother’s eyes.  “You can’t possibly know how she inspires me be a better person and made me feel like I am a better person.  You’ll never know all the ways she touches me without trying.  There’s no way in hell you know the shards of her heart and soul that have been hidden from everyone but me.  That’s all here.”  Jon tapped fingers against his sternum.  “You’re gonna have to accept that I know what Chiara’s done for me – and that it’s enough.”