56:Drama

August 27

The noontime sun was high in the New York sky and Charlie was taking a break from custody settlements and divisions of marital assets.  With her desk chair swiveled toward the cityscape outside her twenty-third story office window, she was indulging in a daydream starring a man who started out as her fiercest adversary.

He may still be fierce when he chose to, but now she knew that he was something more than an arrogant, argumentative musician with his sights on taking her down a peg or two.  The object of Charlie’s crush was someone who was brave enough to let her see the softness inside him and use it to show concern for her well-being.  That opened up a whole new world for her.

She hadn’t actually seen Jon since leaving her house on Monday morning, but their talk that night was still vivid in her memory. 

He never should’ve had a reason to ask why Charlie was afraid of her husband, but since Luke couldn’t seem to keep his big, ever-growing nose out of her business, Jon had connected the dots the way he saw fit.  He believed so firmly in the picture he’d drawn that Charlie spent a full five minutes reassuring him Owen wasn’t violent nor had he ever laid a hand on her.  Even at that, it was only with great reluctance that Jon let it go, clearly still unconvinced that she wasn’t living in fear.

What she found most interesting about that was, of all the friends and family who supposedly knew her inside and out, he was the first one to ever draw that conclusion.

On Tuesday, they both did their own thing without crossing paths or speaking, but last night she’d received an unexpected call.  After casually asking how the parrot was faring in the divorce, Jon just as casually asked about rescheduling their cancelled date.  He had tickets for Finding Neverland if she still wanted to go, and he also had a brand new bed that needed “fucked in”.  She was invited to do both, but if she was going to choose only one, he was withdrawing the tickets.

Charlie laughed and accepted both invitations, along with the offer of a driver to ferry her and Nana to his apartment.  Once the dog got settled, they would venture out for the evening.

Yes, he’d even indirectly invited her dog to spend the night. 

If she had to pinpoint an exact moment, that was the one when her crush on him doubled in size.

So absorbed was she in devising an appropriate way to repay his thoughtfulness that she didn’t register the footsteps that signaled a visitor to her office.  Because there had been no accompanying knock on the door, it wasn’t until they stopped directly behind her and their owner cleared his throat that Charlie whirled around in surprise. 

That surprise escalated to fear when she found Dominick standing on the other side of her desk. 

The hem of her dress fell to her knees as she rose in alarm, heart pounding painfully in her chest.  Her brothers never came to the office.  Ever.  She forbade it. 

“What’s wrong?” she demanded, striving to keep the nausea at bay.  “Is it Ma?  Daddy?”

Her brother was disturbingly unruffled by her distress and lifted one hand in a vague gesture of reassurance.  “Calm down.  Everybody’s fine.”

“Then what are you doing here?” 

This demand was harsher than the first because his reassurance did nothing to actually reassure her.  Her heart was pounding faster than ever and, as she pressed a fist against her sternum to counteract the accompanying pain, her ability to breathe was dwindling.   The entire weight of this building was sitting on her chest.

“I wanted to talk to you.  Since I was at the restaurant supply place down the street, I came by instead of calling.” 

Seemingly, big brother was finally getting a clue as to how displeased Charlie was by this little visit and stepped around the desk in an effort to fold her into a hug, but she wasn’t interested.  She pushed against the embrace harder than was necessary, making her brother teeter a bit on his prosthetic leg until he counter-balanced himself against the shove. 

“You know how I feel about you coming to my workplace.  You know!”

The words sounded sharp to her own ears, but she didn’t care.  He shouldn’t be here.  No one was permitted to visit her office – especially family members.  There’s no way he had forgotten that.

 “If you wanna talk to me, get the fuck out of my office and go wait for me at Mayhem and Stout.  I’ll be down in five minutes.”

She’d never had a crippling anxiety attack before, but this one was close.  In addition to the chest pain and inability to breathe, now her hands were starting to shake.  Forcing herself to overcome the weakness, she latched onto his elbow with the ferocity of a piranha having a midday snack, she steered him toward the door. 

Digging in his feet, her oldest brother scolded sternly, “Stop it.  You’re being stupid.”

“I don’t care.  Go.  Downstairs.”

Yet he didn’t budge.  What he did was to set his mouth in a stern line of disapproval and fold his arms as though he planned to stay the rest of the afternoon.  “No.  You’re gonna have to get over this sometime.”

Even missing part of a leg, he was bigger and stronger than she was, so physically forcing him out of the room wasn’t going to be possible.  If he didn’t want to go, the only hope she had of making him leave was by appealing to his protective instincts.

“Maybe I do, but it’s not gonna be today.”  She tilted her head to look up at him, knowing her eyes were wide with the panic that wouldn’t be stifled until he was out of here. “Please?  I’ll beg if that’s what it takes, Dom.”

As she hoped, that took the starch out of his sails and his arms fell to his side with a sigh.  Stern resolve was melting into pity she didn’t want or need.  “Sweetheart...”

“Not today,” she repeated.  “Just get out.  I’ll be down in two minutes, I promise.”

Dominick was exasperated, but he knew her.  She wasn’t budging on this, and he’d get more accomplished by doing as she asked now and reasoning with her later, when she wasn’t so freaked out.  He probably wouldn’t get what he wanted from it then either, but he would feel like she was actually listening.

“Fine.  We’ll eat lunch.”

“Fine.  Go, and text me when you get down there.”

Rolling his eyes, he left her office without a word, and Charlie followed partway along so that she could watch him board the elevator.  She needed to know that he was truly off this floor and on his way down before she could even begin to breathe normally again.

When the elevator doors closed, her eyes did too, for a long moment as she fought to blank out the memories.  It was nearly impossible to erase Joey’s face from her mind, particularly when one of the last recollections she had involved him rolling his eyes as their oldest brother just had.  She didn’t have a choice, however.

Life had to be lived, and she was lucky that the past thirteen years had taught her how to stiffen her wobbly knees along with her spine and take care of business.  Remorse didn’t put her sons through college or make a house payment, so Charlie didn’t permit herself to indulge in it for more than a moment at a time. 

Whispering another apology to her little brother, she lovingly tucked him back into the mental box where he usually resided.  That compartmentalization of her grief was the only thing allowing her to go on living what appeared to be a normal life and, as she slipped her phone into her purse and closed the desk drawer, a comforting numbness slowed her heartbeat.  Denial allowed her to breathe.   Detachment allowed her to hold her head high and keep living after he died.

Fifteen minutes later, she and Dominick were seated at a street-facing counter inside Mayhem and Stout, a sandwich place on the ground floor of her office building.  They both had Dragon sandwiches in front of them, accompanied by different varieties of beer on tap – Victory Summer Love for her and Cigar City Jai Alai for him. 

Bypassing the sandwich in favor of the beer, Charlie took her first drink at the same time Dom decided to start in. 

“You need a psychiatrist, for chrissake.  That shit’s not normal.”

“I’m aware it’s not normal, but it’s normal for me,” she explained calmly, feeling much more in control now.  “And I’m not discussing it with you.  Next subject.”

He leaned over to put his face in hers.  “There’s an awful lot of shit that’s not open for discussion with you.”

“And?  What’s that supposed to mean?  Your life’s an open book?”  Charlie forked a piece of the pulled pork doused in spicy Asian sauce and popped it into her mouth, speaking around it.  “Because you’re one to be talking about needing a psychiatrist.  I see you rubbing your leg when you think nobody’s looking.  You don’t exactly have the market cornered on mental health.”

Blowing a breath out his nose, he retreated to his own personal space and picked up his sandwich.  “Why the hell do you think I hate seeing you do this?  I know how it feels.”

“Then do something about it.”

He halted the sandwich that was halfway to his mouth so that he could twist his salt and pepper head and look at her.  “I will if you will.”

Food that had been so appetizing a moment ago now stuck Charlie’s throat, requiring a hefty drink to dislodge it.  That wasn’t something she’d been expecting.  If anything, she assumed Dom would back off because he had his own private demons and would understand the aversion to sharing.

“How about I get back to you on that after you tell me what was important enough to break my no visitation rule?”

He frowned but grudgingly nodded while chewing.  “I’m gonna let you slide today, but I see you freak out like that again, I’ll check us both in someplace – no questions asked.”

“And this is why you’re my favorite brother today.”

Snorting at her angelic smile, Dominick shook his head and finally got to the point of his visit.  “Vivi’s birthday’s next weekend.”

“Yeah.  Same day as last year.”

“Smartass.  This is her fiftieth, in case you haven’t been keeping track, and I want to do something a little special.”

“Aww... You’re being sweet.  Who knew?”

He flicked a piece of coleslaw at her, which she dodged with a laugh.  It really was sweet that he wanted to do something nice for his wife’s special milestone.  Turning fifty was rough on a woman, and it should come with every possible perk, as far as she was concerned.

“I was gonna ask Luke, but he’d give me more shit than you are, so here I am.”

“Okay…?” 

“You met Jon Bon Jovi.  Could you ask him to come and sing a song at her party?”

Charlie’s eyes went wide and she reached for her beer to stall for time.  Why would Dom think she could pull strings with Jon? 

Because Luke told everybody you hung out together in the Hamptons.  It’s as simple as that.  He doesn’t know you’re sleeping with him or that you ever did.

“I don’t know, Dom.  I would imagine he’s a pretty busy guy.”

“You don’t think I realize that?  But what’s it gonna hurt to ask?  Huh?”

It wasn’t so much that Charlie was afraid of asking him.  She was really more afraid he’d say yes and get stuck in the middle of her family the way she’d been pulled into his.  That could prove to be uncomfortable for everyone involved – especially if Luke refused to be on his best behavior.

“I, uh.”  She sighed, unwilling to refuse her brother this when he asked so little of her.  “I’ll see if I can figure out how to get in touch with him.”

He grinned at her and lifted his beer in toast.  “And this is why you’re my favorite sister today.”

God, why could family be equal parts infuriating and endearing?  It would be so much simpler if they were one or the other.  She never knew what she was going to get with these brothers of hers. 

Her purse started ringing as she wiped her mouth, and Charlie poked her hand inside to withdraw the responsible cell phone.  When she saw that Noah was the caller, she frowned, thinking he should be in class. 

“Hello?”

“Hey.  Mom.  They’re taking Caleb to the hospital in an ambulance.  His appendix might’ve ruptured.”

She’d just gotten herself settled from the last bout of drama.  Her heart had barely had a chance to recover from dealing with Dominick’s crap, and now it thumped with the force of a jackhammer even though she kept her voice calm and cool for her son. 

“Tell me everything you know.”

“I don’t know anything, really.  He was complaining about his stomach hurting last night and it got worse this morning, so he went to Student Health.  They’re the ones that said something about it rupturing.”

Rupture meant surgery, unless Charlie was mistaken and she grew nauseous at the thought.  Her baby boy was going to have surgery on the opposite side of the country.  Without her.  Why had she agreed to let these kids go to a California school when there were perfectly good schools on the East Coast?  Why?

Now’s not the time, Charlie.     

“What hospital, baby?”

“I don’t know.”  The poor kid sounded forlorn and helpless.

“That’s okay.  Just ask somebody and text me when you find out.  I’ll be on the first flight I can get out of here.  If you can get to Caleb, tell him I love him.  And I love you, too, Noah.  I’ll see you soon.”

Dominick was already standing, ready to go.  “What’s wrong?”

“Caleb’s appendix may be ruptured,” she responded coolly, as ran through a mental list of what needed to be done.  Really, it boiled down to a flight and making sure Nana was cared for.  “I’m going to California.”

And Jon.  You have to cancel your plans with him.  Again.

She could do with a text in the elevator when she went up to make her flight arrangements and tell them at the office she would be off at least the rest of the week. 

“Nana can stay with me and Vivi,” her brother offered immediately.  “Luke has a key, right?”

“Yeah.”  The sounds and smells of New York enveloped like a familiar blanket Charlie as they stepped out of the restaurant.  Reaching up, she gave her brother a quick hug.  “Tell the family.  I don’t have time.”

“I will.”  His big, strong arms wrapped her tight and he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.  “I love you, Charlie.  Don’t worry.  Caleb will be fine.”

“Love you, too.”  She didn’t comment on Caleb, but headed for building’s office entrance and the elevator.  If she had to acknowledge he was going to be fine, that left room for the possibility that he wouldn’t be.  That wasn’t an option.

[1:37 PM]CHARLIE: Have to cancel tonight. Caleb’s sick and needs me.

By the time the elevator doors opened with a chime on the twenty-third floor, her phone was alps chiming with an incoming call.  She was expecting Noah, but when Jon’s name popped up, it didn’t stop her from answering.

“What’s wrong?” he questioned before she could manage to say hello. 

“His appendix may be ruptured.  He’s on his way to the hospital, for surgery, I assume.”  The flat and emotionless explanation was offered as Charlie strode through reception to her office, where she sat at the computer to find a phone number for one of the airlines.  “I need to find a flight.  I’ll call you later.”

“Go to Teterboro.”  It wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order.  “I’ll have a plane waiting for you.”

Part of her appreciated the gesture, while the other part of her resented the implication that she couldn’t handle this herself.  She was the one who took care of things.  That’s what she did. 

“You’re not doing that, and I don’t have time to argue about it.”

“What you don’t have time for is dicking around with a commercial flight.   Your son needs you.  Go to Teterboro, goddammit.”

That logic was hard to dispute, but she hated that he was right.  She hated needing what he could give her.  She hated how good it felt to have someone else take charge.

“Okay.  I will.  Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  I’ll text you the gate info as soon as I have it.”

With that, he was gone, and Charlie closed the office door behind her, striding back through the office to tell the receptionist she was leaving and why.  After that, she was on her way to street level and the taxi that would take her to Teterboro and, ultimately, her son.