15:Bribery

August 9 (p.m.)

“Hey, Dad?” 

Upon hearing his eldest son’s voice, Jon looked up from the well-deserved glass of wine he was pouring.   

His afternoon had been spent, in part, subtly grilling Lilah over what happened during the chat between her and “the woman on the beach” this morning.  That particular terminology had been specifically engineered to preserve the identity of that “woman” on the off chance that Lilah didn’t already know it.  His sister-in-law’s expression was just a little too innocent for his taste, but no matter how many times and different ways he went around the same circle, she hadn’t admitted to anything other than Charlie getting her dog and commenting on how cute the kids were. 

After that, the rest of the afternoon was a different exercise in frustration, this time on the phone trying to clean up the shit show that was happening with his Vancouver gig.  The Runaway Tours trip that Matt had engineered around the thing added extra pressure for Jon to make sure the show went on, but they were currently stuck in a maddening pattern of hurry up and wait. 

At well after six in the evening, the afternoon was blessedly over and he was about to enjoy his first drink of the day.  It wouldn’t be his last, though. 

“What, Jess?”

“I’m going to see the Fantastic Four movie with Noah and Caleb.  Can I borrow the Chevelle?”

Leaning against the bar, he cradled the glass in his fingers and cocked a hypercritical eyebrow at the kid.  “Don’t you mean my Chevelle?  And what makes you think I’d let you drive it?”

Jesse grinned and crammed his hands into cargo shorts pockets.  “Because you’re the coolest dad ever, and I’m a responsible twenty-year-old who’s going to graduate in three-and-a-half years instead of four.”

He snorted into his glass while taking a drink.  The kid had definitely been paying attention over the years.  He was good.

“You’re not staying here for dinner?”

“Nah.  I thought we’d go to the Smokin’ Wolf.”

The barbecue joint about ten minutes away was casual and one of Jesse’s favorite vacation haunts.  He probably wanted to show it off to the Del Vecchio kids.

“You got money?”

“Yep.  Lilah gave me some cash.”

His brow wrinkled with confusion as Jon wondered if he’d heard correctly.  As far as he knew, Lilah had never given his kids money outside of birthdays, holidays or graduation.  Why was she starting now?

“What for?”

“I dunno.  I don’t ask questions when a family member offers money.  I just say ‘thank you’ and take it.”

He didn’t fault Jesse for behavior that was typical of a kid without a job, but Jon still couldn’t shake the feeling that something weird was going on here. 

“Take your brothers with you, and you can use the car.”

“Already planned on it,” he was assured with another grin.  “That was one of the conditions of the money.”

That little tidbit escalated things beyond weird.  Jon wanted to know why Lilah was systematically relocating three-quarters of his kids for the evening.

“Keys are in the desk.  Where’s Lilah?”

“Kitchen last time I saw her.”

“Thanks, and do not scratch my car.  Got it?”  Wine in hand, Jon headed off in search of his sister-in-law. 

He didn’t find Lilah in the family-style kitchen, however.  It was only Tony and Desiree in there doing prep work for dinner, but Tony could probably give him the information he was looking for.  “Why is your wife paying to get my kids out of the house tonight?”

Tony’s attention didn’t waver from whatever he was basting onto skewered shrimp.  “Ask her, not me.”

“The fact that this revelation doesn’t come as a surprise tells me that you know why.”

Peering at Jon over the rim of his glasses, he firmly repeated, “Ask her, not me.  I’ve got nothing – and I mean nothing – to do with it.”

His devout family man brother wouldn’t disavow all association with his wife if there wasn’t something hinky happening around here – something that Jon wasn’t going to like.  The only thing making him happy right now was the knowledge that his intuition was in good working order.

“Where is she?”

“In the yard with the kids.”

After gulping his wine, Jon put the empty glass on the counter and gave the kitchen doorknob a sharp twist.      

He had no more stepped outside and walked past the picnic tables when he caught sight of her next to the Airstream trailer permanently situated at poolside.  The sparkly shit she favored was sprinkled over the long pink dress she wore, and it glinted in the light of the fading sun as she delivered instruction on storing some monstrous inflatable toys. 

“Lilah!” he called, moving past the four youngest Bongiovis, who were bouncing on smaller inflatables outside the white picket pool fence.

“The far end of the pool is fine for the dinosaur, Matt, but tie his foot to the lounge chair, would you?  Thanks!”  Orders complete, she leisurely spun around to grace Jon with a smile.  Maybe it was because he was already suspicious of her, but he thought that smile was mocking him.  “What ‘cha need, big brother?”

“To know why you’re bribing my kids to go out tonight.”

Her ponytail shook along with her head as her smile inverted to a frown.  “You call it bribin’, I call it bein’ nice.  I thought the boys might like to go do somethin’ on their own this evenin’, so Tony and I gave ‘em money for dinner and a movie.  Jesse might’ve said somethin’ about invitin’ some friends along, too.”

Responding to her bullshit answer would only dignify it as plausible.  Instead of wasting the time, he stood there vainly searching her makeup-free face for some clue as to what was really going on. 

“Jon, what time is it?”

Flipping his wrist around with a frown, he told her, “Six forty-five.”

“Oh, good.  My dinner guest should be here soon.  I did tell you I invited someone for dinner, didn’t I?”  The smile was back, and this time it was saccharine sweet as she prepared to sidle past him and through the pool gate. 

“No.  You didn’t, in fact.”  Jon grabbed her elbow before she could escape.  Dinner guests were never a big deal, but the way this was playing out had his neck hair standing on end.  “Who’s coming?”

“That nice woman from the beach.  Charlie.”  Bright, overly-innocent eyes blinked up at him.  “Oh, my.  That’s not the same Charlie you’ve been talkin’ about, is it?  The lawyer?”

Dropping his grip on her arm, he swore.  “You know fucking well it is and yet you invited her into my house?  The one she’s making me pay for?  Twice!  Why wasn’t this dinner invitation mentioned earlier when I was asking about her?”

“Because I knew this is how you would act,” she said simply while tilting a stubborn chin at him. 

“Jesus, Kentucky!  I get that you have zero respect for me, but you usually respect your husband enough to keep him in my good graces.  Now you’re both on my shit list.”

“Hey!”  Now it was her turn to grab an arm, and when he turned to glower down at her, he found that her expression was earnest.  “I did it for you, dumbass.  You admitted an attraction to her, but your hatred has gotten so far blown out of proportion that you won’t do anything about it.  Now you have a chance to know her as a woman instead of a lawyer, and I thought that would be easier without so many kids around.”

“Christ Almighty, you’re playing Cupid.”  There was no way he could’ve known exactly what would come of those two meeting this morning, but he had known anything was possible with Lilah.  This proved it. “Well, I’ve got news for ya.  Word on the street is that women don’t find me repulsive, so I don’t need your help getting a date.”

Her growl sounded like a feral mountain lion in heat, but his feisty sister-in-law did ultimately yield, “Okay, fine. You’re Rico Suave and don’t need my help, but I like her and she’s still coming to dinner as my guest.  Do not be a jerk.”

Jon was better than that flash in the pan Rico Suave, and he wasn’t making any promises.  So far, he’d managed to rein himself in, but after three tension-building encounters with the woman… It was impossible to tell what was going to happen when he finally reached his limit.

J J J J J

Charlie slipped out from behind the wheel of her classic Ford Mustang on Jon’s circular driveway.  There were white lilac trees strategically placed to offer a stunning splash of privacy from passersby, and it was with their fragrance tickling her nose that she got her first real look at his vacation home. 

Not at all modern, it had the classic Hamptons ambiance without feeling old, and the quaint drive through portico only lent to its charm.  She knew from Dorothea that the inside was modernized but that Jon had wanted to preserve the original integrity of the house, meaning he had more restoration done than renovation.  

She was attributing her tingling anticipation to excitement at seeing the inside rather than the prospect of touching the man who owned it.

Up until five-thirty this evening, she’d fully expected to receive word from Lilah that the dinner offer was revoked.  That was when Noah had asked if it would be okay to go out with Jesse and his brothers, and his invitation subsequently led Charlie to believe that hers would stand. 

Since she told Jon at the pizza place he was welcome to tell her all about his feelings for her, just not in front of the boys, she presumed he was setting the stage to do just that.  Her only hope was that the rest of his family wouldn’t jump on the bandwagon. If they did, she would endure their criticism with dignity until later, when she would kill herself for coming here and opening herself to it in the first place. 

You really are an idiot.  They make very realistic sex toys now.  The silicone replicas are probably more impressive than his hard, throbbing…

Enough of that.  She smoothed her dress down to its mid-thigh hem and repeated Izzie’s latest bit of wisdom.

“You’re not going to walk into a family cookout and get laid, Charlie.  Focus on the woman who invited you and be yourself – your home self, not your work self.  Let him see you as an actual person instead of a blood sucking leech.”

It was sound advice.  That leech thing was unnecessarily harsh, in her opinion, but the rest of her words were right on the money and she would focus on those.

Exhaling deeply, she leaned into the convertible’s back seat to withdraw her peace offerings.  The first two bottles of wine were carefully lifted from their nest in her beach bag and tucked into the crook of her arm, one at a time.  The neck of the third bottle was just coming into her grasp when she heard the voice.

“Charlie, you made it!  That dress is so cute!”

Whipping her head around, she pasted on a smile to greet the woman who wasn’t technically her hostess but who had invited her here tonight. 

“Thanks!”  Light, summery and comfortable, she loved the sleeveless white shift stamped with blue poppies.  “You didn’t tell me not to, so yeah.  I made it.”

"Well, I’ll tell ya right now that I'm not the only one who will be happy you’re here.  Those Bongiovi boys are gonna drool over your ride."

With a smile, she watched the woman in the long, rhinestone dusted dress take inventory of her 1967 springtime yellow Mustang ragtop.  It wasn't exactly a girly thing to own, but she liked classic cars and loved riding with the top down.

“I like your dress, too, by the way.  Very princess-y.”

“To quote my husband, I have a thing for ‘sparkly shit’.  Here, let me take one of those.”  As she extended a hand for one of the wine bottles, the Pinot Grigio label sparked recognition in her eyes.  “Alcoholic reinforcements are another point in your favor, and this one should definitely make Jon happy.”

Charlie held the other two bottles up for inspection.  “Hopefully, he’s not the only one who will be happy.  I wasn’t sure what everyone drank.”

“Well, you made excellent choices.  That one…” She nodded to the cabernet.  “…is one of Matt’s favorites, and Desiree loves the merlot.”

“Alright, then.”  That was one worry off her mind.  Maybe they wouldn’t chase her off with pitchforks and torches, now. 

Gesturing toward a path marked by the haphazard placement of stepping stones, Lilah told her, “We’ll just go through here to the yard.  When Jon’s mood improves, I’ll ask him to take you on a tour of the house, if you want.”

Charlie groaned silently.  Wasn't he always in a foul mood when she was around?  Why had she dared believe tonight might be different?

“I hope that mood isn’t because of me?  He knows I’m coming, right?”

“Oh, he knows,” Lilah reassured dryly, waving a careless hand.  “But his mood is mostly work related.  He’s got a show in Vancouver next weekend that’s fallin’ apart because of some jackaloon promoters.  He’s going to have to pay out the nose to keep it alive, so he’s kinda cranky.  Please don’t take it personally.”

“Why doesn’t he just cancel?”

It only made sound business sense.  Taking into account all the money he gave up in the divorce settlement, why would he pay to perform?  Wasn’t that supposed to be how he made his living? 

Her hostess looked back over her shoulder with a smile.  “He’s an ass sometimes, but Jon really does have a soft heart.  He’d rather eat the cost than disappoint his fans or take money out of his brother’s pocket.  Matt has booked one of his tour groups to go along on this one.”

Well that was just peachy keen, but now Charlie was left in a quandary.  She wasn’t sure if that generous statement proved that he was a super-nice guy or if it made him an idiot.